•December 11, 2007 • Leave a Comment

Tis quite odd, how feelings and emotions work. It’s amazing how a person can go from being invisible to being the only thing on your mind. Likewise, a person you used to care immensely about can suddenly slip from your mind, like an inmates bar of soap. Emotions can cloud your feelings, and can cause either false confidence or an excessive lack of confidence. Love and jealousy can cause a person to feel physically sick if they see their loved one in the arms of another. Anger and rage can override every ounce of common sense a person has, often causing them to do something incredibly stupid. Fear can prevent a person from doing anything, even if it’s what they want more than anything in the whole world.

That said, feelings and emotions are not a bad thing. Far from it, they are what make us human. It wasn’t intelligence that caused some of the greatest inventions to be created, it was passion. It wasn’t not the instinct of self-preservation that created charities, or programs such as Health Care, it was compassion. It’s not technology or ambition that makes life worth living, it’s love. You can be the most successful person in the world, but if you’re alone, you won’t be happy.

I realize this has kind of gone all over the place, so I’ll try to sum it up now. I realize that many times before I’ve cursed emotions, saying they were completely illogical, and life would be much simpler without emotion. That may be true, but it wouldn’t be enjoyable. Sure, it sucks when someone hurts you, and makes you feel worthless. But all things considered, I wouldn’t give it up for the world.





•December 3, 2007 • Leave a Comment

What the hell is wrong with the world? Every time I read the news, there are more stories about murders, rapes, war and genocide. And what are our “leaders” doing about it? People world wide are starving in the streets, Canada is stuck in Afghanistan, the United States is stuck in Iraq (while planning a war against Iran), there is a massive genocide going on in Sudan, monks in Burma are being tortured, our children are being poisoned by Chinese made toys, and the Earth is starting to boil. And what are our leaders doing about it? They give a couple of speeches, point fingers but never actually do anything. Have any of our leaders agreed to any global warming plans that have binding goals? No. Have our leaders condemned China for supporting Burma or allowing our products to be tainted? No. Have our leaders made any attempt whatsoever to get out of Afghanistan or Iraq? No. Have our leaders done anything at all about the genocide in Sudan? No. What the hell have they done then? They’ve cut funding to stem cell research, “protected us” by banning gay marriage (while having gay sex in bathroom stalls).

Even with the crappy job that Bush and Cheney are doing, we can’t get the Democrats to impeach them. When Kuchinich introduced a bill to impeach Cheney, the rest of Democrats voted to kill it! They won’t even do they job they were elected to do, thanks to Nancy “impeachment is off the table” Pelosi. My god, Democrats, get a clue. There’s a reason your approval rating is in the tanks (worse than Bush’s).

I could go on for hours, but I have homework to do, so I’m going to go.




•September 17, 2007 • Leave a Comment

Well today started out not bad. Not bad meaning it was just an average day. Wake up at 5:30 to “I’ve Got All This Ringing in my Ears, and None on my Fingers” (actually makes a pretty decent alarm). From there it was all down hill.

I get to school, no problem, but then my Computing Science professor tells us that all the assignments from the beginning of the term up until now are due on Friday. Crap, of the five assignments due, I’ve finished… two. Then, after Comp. Sci and Psych, I have English. Joy joy! Realize I completely forgot to read the short story we’re discussing today, so I’m skimming it as fast as I can. Just my luck, as I’m about half-way done the teacher calls on me (I hate small classes). So I keep trying to answer the questions using only evidence form the first half. Then I figure out (from my class mates and teacher giving me stunned looks) that this story has a twist ending in the last friggen paragraph. Seriously, you’re not Stephen King, if you were we wouldn’t be allowed to read your books in class, so don’t write twist endings!

Then I get home, finally get a chance to relax before I go to do my Physics pre-lab (due tomorrow). I then realize I left the lab manual (which I need to do the pre-lab) in my locker at Grant Mac. Fuck. So now tomorrow I get to scramble and do that between classes and hope that they don’t cut off access before I finish it.

At 8, I finally get some rest time, and a chance to talk to my friends (some of whom I haven’t seen since Grad). Or so I thought. My sister walks into my room and asks me to drive her to the house so she can do some laundry (no laundry room in the apartment). I tell her to ask my mom, and my mom freaks on me saying that I need to help out more, she’s been working all day and she’s really stressed out. Right, and I suppose that I have no idea what stress is, despite the fact that my parents are getting divorced (and now whenever they talk about each other, it’s only to bitch), I have to figure out how the hell I’m supposed to pay for the next 3-7 years of university (while paying for everything else, since despite a combined income of $105,000/year, my parents can’t seem to afford anything), I’m buried in homework, if my mark drops too low I face expulsion, and I’m now my sisters personal chauffeur because she’s constantly out of clothes (god forbid she only wears one outfit a day). So excuse the fuck out of me if I want to talk to my friends on MSN every once in a while, I can’t remember the last time I interrupted my sister to get her to do me a favour (and god knows there’s no way in hell she would do as much for me).

If you’ve made it this far, you’re truly a saint.


•July 13, 2007 • Leave a Comment

It’s quarter to two, and I’m bored. So I have been watching some videos on YouTube (while waiting for my own to be posted). I ended up on some of Chris Rock’s stand up. He actually made a good point about politics. Everybody always feels the need to assign themselves labels. I’ve been guilty of it too. I’ve called myself a liberal. But honestly, who cares? I don’t decide who I’m voting for until election time. This blind loyalty to politicians that people have is retarded. I have friends who blindly support the Liberal Party, others who blindly support the NDP and others who blindly support the Conservatives. Why? Every party has political views I agree with, and political views I disagree with. Crime and Senate Reform: I’m conservative. Health Care and Workers Rights: I’m liberal. Our society is so used to confrontation and labeling that many topics which should have nothing to do with politics are suddenly political.

Global warming and pollution shouldn’t be looked at in terms of your political stance. There is no reason that a Conservative shouldn’t be able to agree with a Liberal or an NDPer when it comes to this. Whether or not global warming is caused by humans or not (and the Earth IS heating up), we need to stop pollution. Why does it matter who you vote for? Why is it that conservatives feel the need to downplay the effects of our polluting? Why is it that liberals are doing nothing but blaming the conservatives for this mess (keep in mind they had a majority government for 12 years)?

Everybody has a different set of beliefs. That will never change. Why is it though, that we can never put those aside and get along? If you ever watch the news and see video clips of Parliamentary Debates, it’s always a bunch of old guys yelling at each other. In other countries, the different political parties can get along. In Sweden, they’ve had minority governments for 40 years. Not once in those 40 years has the government collapsed before the term was over. Political debates are no longer about persuading the audience that your view is correct. The debates are now about persuading the audience that your opponent is an idiot.

But I’ve been sitting here for an hour (mostly watching Dennis Leary clips in between writing), so I’m going to end it here.

First day and last day

•June 14, 2007 • Leave a Comment

Today is officially the first day that I’m an adult. I’m happy/excited about that. Tomorrow is the last day of High School classes. While I’m excited about that too, I’m also a little sad. It may be the last day I see many of my friends. There are many people I talk to and hangout with at school, but don’t really have contact with outside of school. I guess the thing that freaks me out about all this the most though, is that I’m not ready for the real world. Sure, I’m still going to be going to university, but when my schooling costs over $4k/year, it seems more like the real world and less like school. It just seems weird, 13 years (including Kindergarten) of schooling, where I didn’t really get much homework, and any homework I did get, I could get away with not doing, and now I’ll get at least 2 hours of homework for every hour of class, and I’ll have to do it all. The funniest thing is that throughout all of my schooling, I couldn’t wait to graduate. Now that I’m about, I just don’t feel ready. I’m too young to be 18! I still remember going on a school bus for the first time, and making my mom wait with me. I remember amazing my Kindergarten teacher when I could count to 100. I remember reading before most of my class. I remember the one stupid mad minute I kept failing in Grade 1 because you needed 100% to pass, and my teacher thought my 0 was a 6, so she kept failing me. I remember hating school (well, not really until Junior High), but now I’m not ready to leave. I guess it’s just hard to leave your comfort zone. As Scott Adams said “Free-will is an illusion. People chose the path of greatest perceived pleasure”.

I’m starting to ramble and repeat myself, so I’ll end the post here. Cheers to anybody who reads through the entire post.



•June 12, 2007 • 2 Comments

Well, this won’t really be interesting, but that doesn’t matter, since nobody reads this anyways. In one day and approx 30 minutes, I will be 18. Seems like an odd number to be a milestone, doesn’t it? Usually milestone birthdays end in a zero or five. But no, this birthday will be the day I become an adult. My feelings on that are in my first post. Thanks to Amy, I’ve now started listening to The Academy Is… . (Bands should never put punctuation in their name, it makes it very hard to have their name at the end of a sentence.) I’ve got an English Part A Diploma exam tomorrow. Kinda nervous about that, but it’s no big deal. I should be sleeping, but I’m just not that smart. (well I am, but whatever) And my friend, Mel, just said she wants chlorine and alcohol… Apparently to make a chlorine bomb. Sounds cool, but after it explodes, what do you do about the chlorine? I’m gonna go to bed now, so to whoever read through this, you’re a saint.  Good night and good luck.

Take nothing for granted

•June 3, 2007 • Leave a Comment

A friend of mine (who just happens to be my only reader) once said on her blog “Don’t take anything for granted. Because In a flash, the things you thought you had could be gone…”. To many people, that’s just emo whining. If you would have asked me last year, I would have agreed with them. However, few people know what it is like to lose the one thing you thought you could always count on. The one thing that you could always believe in. To lose all faith, your entire belief system, is the worst fucking thing in the world.
Last July, I was sitting at my computer, bored, watching Youtube videos. I had noticed that my parents were acting kinda weird, and it was pissing me off, but I paid no real attention to it. Then one night, I found out that my happy family was going to be broken up. My parents were going to be getting divorced. My entire life, my parents seemed happy together. As I grew up, my friends parents got divorces, but my parents stayed strong. “Don’t worry, honey,” my mother would say, “your father and I will never get a divorce, we love each other very much.” Even if they had a fight, they’d get over it the same day.

I won’t go into the details of what caused them to split up, though, I think many of you already know what happened. Needless to say, I felt betrayed. Growing up, I was always lead to believe that no matter what, I could try my parents. I was supposed to be able to look up to them. This was the very definition of betrayal.

My parents then decided that they would try to work things out. They would go to marriage counseling, they would try to work out their differences. Great! The illusion was back. I felt cautiously happy. Then January hit. I discovered that nothing had changed. My parents would still be getting divorced. My dad would have to move out, into some shitty apartment, which is literally a 5 minute walk from my work. The house would be put up for sale ($399,900 for those interested). The illusion was once again gone.

So now I get to go bouncing between my house, and my dad’s place, hearing each parent bitch about the other, despite the fact that 12 short months ago, they claimed to love each other. Then they have the nerve to tell me that if I ever need to talk, I can talk to them. Or if I have any questions, I can feel free to ask. What the hell am I supposed to say or ask? The situation seems pretty obvious to me. My parents no longer love each other, so as a result, me and my sister have to suffer living in two places, losing our home, losing our sense of security and hearing our parents constantly complain about each other. Maybe I’m supposed to say something like, “What? Oh, you’ve been having these feelings for three years now? Then why the fuck didn’t you go to counseling at that time? Or at least deal with your problems when they came up, as opposed to waiting until everything went FUBAR?”. Seriously, it’s touching that my parents started together because of my sister and I. It really is. But reminding me of that every god damn time we talk about the divorce (ok every time they try to talk about the divorce) doesn’t make me feel too good.

Once again, I’m starting to go off topic and just ramble. My point is that nothing lasts forever, and like it or not, everything you take for granted will one day disappear. Unfortunately, it won’t be until then that you realize how important to you that stuff is.

One last point. I had an argument with the friend I quoted above about a week ago. We were arguing about whether or not people ever change. She said no, while I was arguing yes. My experience over the past year has showed me that people do change. Just never for the better.